Yes, Maine is great, but . . .
Despite the opinions of our editors, I have returned. I am back.
Listen, I needed a holiday. Even my computer was tired of me. Being patriotic, it being July 4, I went to re-live where our beloved country began. I schlepped to Maine.
Vacationland
Why Maine? Because my forever friends whose ancestors — its earliest settlers — are honored in the state’s museum and in whose original farmhouse I have stayed are there. What it was like when great great great grandma Ballard practiced midwifery there in the 1600s and 1700s, who knows. What it’s like now, I know.
Nobody in that state blows their Social Security on wardrobe. A potpourri of pensioners, the average age is deceased. Gents need a divining rod to locate their private parts since most stomachs reached to Iowa. And if ever I see another lobster I’ll crack it over